Dear Stephanie,

I am somewhat at a disadvantage in answering this question in that I don't have a picture of you or know very much about the resources available in Taiwan. I would like to point out though that we are often our own worst critics. I know that I think I look good on a good night (I only dress to go out partying) and yet on other nights I see nothing more than a "man in a dress" and not all that attractive a man either..LOL

I assume you do your own makeup and have lots of practice? Have you had the benefit of an expert to give you pointers. This could be a drag performer or a GG that is very good at makeup. (bear in mind I dont know what is available in China as well as the US...sorry). If so take advantage of whatever they can teach you.

You said you dont want to do SRS or HRS....does that eliminate the possibility of hormones...assuming you could get them. (BTW I only recommend hormore useage if you have a docters input)

I know this advice may not answer all your questions...or solve your problem but another point to remember is what does the man you are with think? You sound like you are in a very loving relationship and your "man" in all likelihood sees you as a very beautiful T-girl and at the end of the day, isnt being able to love and be loved and accepted unconditionally the goal we all strive for anyway?!

I guess my advice is to realize that we are often our own worst critic and others may not see us as unfemimine as we see ourselves...witness your "hubby". Of course makeup use is a benefit to many of us and we can never do it too well. Other than that I would need to see a picture to advice. But most of all LOVE YOURSELF as you are. (I know that is harder said than done sometimes...hugs)

Vickie ************************************
Stephanie and I have corresponded a bit more since the first letter...once for her to tell me that she doesnt want to do hormones at this time. I got this letter below on April 17, 2001. She seems to be making some headway in her adjustments...which I find very gratifing. She wanted me to inclose her picture in this column...so I am doing so.
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Vickie,
Thank you so very much for your e-mail! I'm going to try to send the picture again. Today I went to a new hairdresser who, I was promised, could do wonders. He is sweet, kind and understanding, not to mention very attractive! I told him I was a friend of "Lisa's" and he new immediately I was a TV (because I was wearing men's drag at the time). His demeanour changed immediately and he began to look at me in a different light.

He suggested lightening my hair (which, as I told you, is already blond, but drab, dishwater.) which would soften my face. He suggested a longer length, so I wouldn't need to use wigs all the time. He said he could style my hair to be androgynous so I could restyle for whatever the occasion called for.

I told him just to do whatever he felt was best. I walked out US$95.00 poorer, but happier with my looks than I've been in a very long time! He doesn't do makeup, but knows a man who does and can "completely alter my appearance" (If I translated that correctly from the Chinese!) I'm going to give him a call to arrange an appointment. Somehow, just knowing you are there, and rooting for me, gives me courage!

Thank you, Vickie!! If you get my photo, you are welcome to use it in your column, if you care to.

Kisses and Hugs,
Stephanie

She went on to include her email addy but I won't include that...if any of my readers have any suggestions etc..I will forward them to her however. I looked at the picture and my suggestion was a bright shade of lipstick and rouge type makeup...lets see what the makeover guy does. (smile) I can hardly wait, Stephanie, as I am sure you are excited about the possibilities also. As we say in the States "you go, girl!!!"

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It is great to be remembered and to know that you have a tiny tiny part in making someone's live better. Here is what Steffanie Florence wrote me in December of 2003---at least 2 1/2 years after the above correspondence. BTW the second picture is her "now".

"I was, and still am, living in Taipei, Taiwan. At the beginning of 2002 I started HRT, something I wish I had done years and years before that! I let my hair grow and it's now to the middle of my back, though I usually wear it up. I had my coming out party at a special event here in Taipei and it was wonderful. This past Halloween I had my singing debut at a small nightclub in Taipei (dressed) and it was a big success!

I'm still happily "married" to the same man and I'm more a woman every day! I can't thank you enough for the loving encouragement you gave me when I was tentatively taking those baby steps over two years ago! You gave me the hope and the courage to carry on!"

This is enought to make me blush...you did it yourself, Stephanie...so thank yourself for your courage and willingness to "go for it". ************

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