Dear Vickie,
I always sort of thought drag
queens were synonymous with the gay lifestyle, what with Imperial Courts
that have drag "Empresses" all over the U.S. But somebody recently told
me that most gay men aren't really comfortable with queens and many see
them as creating an unfavorable image for gay men. This seems sort of contradictory
to me, since I understand the Stonewall riots in New York that are largely
credited with being the start of the gay and lesbian liberation movement
were actually started by drag queens who were always being picked on by
the police.
Is it true that drag queens are
really a sort of suppressed minority in the gay community?
Liz from little Rock
Dear Liz,
Sadly enough, a lot of what
you have heard about the treatment those who are transgendered (including
the drag queens who most often identify as Gay) get from "mainstream gays"
is accurate. There are a lot of gay males (and Lesbians as well but most
of my experience is with gay men) who would not believe, or prefer not
to accept, that indeed the drag queens were indeed the ones that started
the movement at Stonewall. Fortunately, that is not universal however.
Many gay men love and respect drag queens....and understand to the extent
they are able not being there themselves, the struggle and concern experienced
by the transgendered person of whatever category. On the other hand, in my years of
dealing with both groups, since I identify as a gay crossdressers, I have
discovered that there is homophobia that goes on in the transgendered community
as well. Some of the transgendered community will do everything they can
to stress their rejection of anything implying a gay identify not just
for themselves (where if it is true, they are correct and doing what they
need to do) but as a part of the transgendered community at all.
Some of them even go so far as to express hate every bit as strong as any
"mainstream" person might. So what are we dealing with here?
One would think that two oppressed groups would find it in their
best interest to come together and fight a common battle against those
who would reject
the rights of both parties. However, apparently something
else is going on here other than even self-interest. At least in that particular
direction. What I feel is going on, is simply the human desire to fit in.
Gay men who reject anything "transgendered" do so thinking that they are
at least "real" men, while the transgendered person who rejects anything
hinting of homosexuality does so to indicate their own acceptability. It
is the never ending delineation between "us" and "them". If we can separate
ourselves from "them" in some way, and they are the "bad", then we are
acceptable. This goes on at a deep seated level.
What is missed is the rational knowledge that BOTH groups are deemed "the
enemy" by a large part of the "mainstream"..and that the enemy is not the
other group but rather the oppressing lack of acceptance for gender difference
as well as sexual difference. Please understand, I do acknowledge,
indeed insist that not all gay persons need to be cross dressed, nor do
all (or even a very large fraction) of the transgender community also partake
in the "gay" lifestyle. What we DO have in common is that we are different.
And in addition, that being different is NOT wrong but is just part of
who we are. Vickie
************
I am a good looking guy and have lots of success with the girls. However lately, I have found myself wanting to meet a lady like yourself. Up to now I have been afraid to try to meet but I find it constantly on my mind.
What should I do???
LeonHon relax. We are not monsters...we are people just like anyone else. Now admittedly not all T-ladies are interested in men. Some are very heterosexual and want only a woman. Even those that are going for the sex change often identify as lesbian. However there are a good number of T-ladies that love to talk to guys, be admired by guys and some that want to meet guys every bit as much as you want to meet them.
So how do you do this?? Well, you proceed as you would with a GG (genuine girl or genetic girl) you say "hi, how are you tonight?" or "you are looking lovely" or "would you like to dance"?? Whatever you would do to meet a GG for the first time.
If you are on the internet, I can tell you what I would want (if it were me you were interested in). I would very much appreciate your saying very nicely and in a gentleman like manner that I look really nice...pretty...whatever. Then the second thing is be willing to share a picture of yourself. This makes sense cuz naturally "I" want to know who I am talking to and if we are going anywhere I want to be able to say "hey, you are handsome" also. The "eye-candy" thing goes both ways. (hahah)
And most of all, Leon, dont try to hard. Relax, go slow and ENJOY and most of all, if your fantasies are of a X-rated nature dont tell her that first off..at least say hello first....LOL
Vickie1st page
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